I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
