This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
