Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize