You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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