dude i'm inner monologue high
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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