I'm going to jail i love you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
