come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I looked at my own cervix.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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