That's intense
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
