Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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