i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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