That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
