So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
