the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
