it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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