if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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