i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
