Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize