dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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