Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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