Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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