Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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