if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
