thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize