i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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