Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
