i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
