Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
