Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
