Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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