he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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