I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize