I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
