Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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