I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
