u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
