I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize