I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
