We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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