This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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