White coat. Heels.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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