No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize