the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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