So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize