mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
oh god the rape fog is back!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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