he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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