We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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