let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
