lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
