Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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