I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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