no, he came in my armpit
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
