we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
