My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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