dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
