Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
