Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
