i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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