I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize