i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
