so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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