I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize