I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They have beer where we have blood.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
