I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
