Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
