So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I died a long time ago.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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