hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
