Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize