porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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