So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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