i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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