4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize