You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
