you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My first STD was from a foam party
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
