I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
