you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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