we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
false alarm, still single
Randomize
