There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
