i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
