I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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