I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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